Navigating Pressure: How to be a calming presence during high-stress moments

Navigating Pressure: How Parents Can Be a Calming Presence for Their Athlete

Pressure is an inevitable part of sports. Whether it comes from competition, coaches, teammates, or even parents, the ability to manage pressure can make or break an athlete’s performance. For parents, the challenge lies in supporting their child without unintentionally adding to the stress. This blog explores how you, as a parent, can create a supportive environment and help your athlete not just survive under pressure but thrive.


Why Pressure Matters

When you see your athlete under pressure, how do you feel? How do you react? What do you say?

Pressure in sports isn’t going away—it’s normal and often necessary for growth. However, how it is handled can significantly impact an athlete’s performance and overall experience. Understanding what pressure is and where it comes from is the first step to ensuring it becomes a source of growth rather than a burden.

Sources of Pressure:
• Competition: The drive to win or outperform rivals.
• Coach Expectations: Pressure to meet a coach’s standards or secure playing time.
• Teammate Expectations: Social dynamics and peer pressure within a team.
• Parental Expectations: Well-meaning but often overwhelming pressure from parents to succeed.

Key Takeaway:
Pressure is not inherently bad; the inability to manage pressure effectively is what makes it detrimental. Every athlete performs best under their own unique levels of pressure, and it manifests differently for everyone.

Some athletes thrive under intense pressure, using it as fuel to elevate their performance. Others perform their best in low-pressure environments, where they feel free to focus without the weight of expectations. Understanding what type of athlete your child is can be a game-changer. When you align your support with their individual needs, you help them embrace pressure as an exciting challenge rather than something to fear.


Creating a Supportive Environment

Your presence and actions can either amplify or alleviate your athlete’s stress. By practicing the “Three Cs”—Calm, Curious, and Constructive—you can foster an environment where your athlete feels supported.

The Three Cs
1. Calm: Stay composed, even during high-pressure moments. Your athlete will take cues from your behavior.
2. Curious: Ask open-ended questions and let your athlete drive the conversation about their performance.
3. Constructive: Offer supportive feedback focused on effort and process, not just results. *ONLY DO THIS WHEN YOUR ATHLETE ASKS FOR FEEDBACK*

What to Avoid
• Increasing pressure with comments like, “This is the biggest game of your career!”
• Comparing your athlete to others, which can undermine their confidence.
• Focusing on outcomes (e.g., “We’ll only pay for club if you make the top team.”).
• Showing your own anxiety by pacing or shouting during games.

What to Do
• Stay calm and steady.
• Emphasize effort over results: “I loved how aggressive you were today, even though it was tough.”
• Ask what they need: “Do you want to talk, or do you want advice?”

By shifting your approach, you help create a space where your athlete can not only process pressure effectively, but thrive under it.


Helping Build Confidence

Confidence is a cornerstone of managing pressure. However, confidence-building isn’t about you—it’s about your athlete’s journey. To truly support them, focus on what they need, not what you think they should do.

Pre-Performance:
• Ask About Their Routine: Encourage them to develop a consistent pre-performance routine.
• Support the Environment: Ensure they have the space and time to prepare, like arriving early to events.
• Check In: Ask how you can best support them before they step onto the court.

During Performance:
• Manage Your Own Nerves: Stay calm in the stands to model composure.
• Let the Coach Coach: Avoid giving technical feedback from the sidelines.

Post-Performance:
• Focus on Process: Highlight effort and growth rather than results.
• Be Positive: Offer encouragement and ask what they need from you.

Key Takeaway:
Your role is to help them feel empowered, not controlled. Simple adjustments in how you engage can dramatically impact their confidence and ability to manage pressure.


The Elite Athlete Membership

If you’re looking for a way to deepen your athlete’s mental game, the Elite Athlete Membership provides a powerful solution. For just $20/month, athletes gain access to weekly, actionable content that helps them build the mental skills needed to excel in their sport.

Each month focuses on a specific theme tailored to the athletic season, such as leadership, managing pressure, focus, and confidence. Athletes receive three emails each week:
• Monday: An introduction to the week’s subtopic to set the stage.
• Tuesday: A challenge or exercise designed to help athletes practice and apply the concept.
• Friday: A reflection or journal prompt to evaluate progress and encourage deeper thinking.

These emails provide consistent, manageable steps for athletes to improve their mental performance, with actionable strategies they can use immediately in training and competition.

To join the membership or learn more, click HERE.


One-on-One Training for Your Athlete

In addition to the membership, I offer tailored one-on-one training to address your athlete’s specific needs:

On-Court Training (Arizona Based Volleyball Athletes)

I work directly with volleyball athletes on the court, blending technical skill development with mental performance training. This allows us to address both physical and mental aspects of the game. For example:
• Practicing executing a new skill under pressure.
• Working on staying focused and composed during play.
This personalized, real-time approach allows athletes to develop their mental state in the moment of play, enhancing their ability to thrive under pressure.

Virtual Training (All Athletes, All Sports)

For athletes everywhere, I offer Zoom sessions to create a customized mental skills training plan. These sessions allow us to:
• Dive deeply into specific challenges your athlete is facing.
• Develop tools and strategies tailored to their unique needs.
• Provide ongoing support and accountability as they implement these skills.

Whether in person or online, one-on-one training gives your athlete the opportunity to take their mental game to the next level. To request a one-on-one session, click HERE or email me directly at [email protected].


Your Athlete’s Journey

At the end of the day, your athlete will face pressure—that’s a given. What matters is how you help them navigate it. With your support and the right tools, they’ll not only learn to manage stress but thrive in high-pressure moments.

Understanding your athlete’s unique relationship with pressure—whether they need high-pressure stakes to thrive or a low-pressure environment to excel—will help you guide them more effectively. When you encourage them to view pressure as an exciting opportunity to rise to the occasion, rather than a threat to avoid, you set the stage for growth, confidence, and resilience.

Remember:
• Pressure is normal, and everyone responds to it differently.
• Follow your athlete’s lead—ask what they need and respect their preferences.
• Your unconditional support is their foundation for success, no matter the outcome.


Together, let’s equip your athlete with the tools to face pressure confidently and grow through every challenge. For more resources, visit www.balancedperformanceaz.com or contact me directly at [email protected] or 480-772-2534.