Raising Mentally Tough Athletes: A Parent’s Guide to Supporting Confidence, Resilience, and Grit

Every athlete will face tough moments. Whether it’s a losing streak, a missed opportunity, or simply a bad day on the court, the ability to push through—with focus, confidence, and determination—is what separates good athletes from great ones.

That ability is called mental toughness, and it’s something every athlete can develop. Even better? You, as a parent, play a major role in helping them do it.

Here are four key ways you can support your athlete’s mental game:


1. Understand What Mental Toughness Really Is
Mental toughness isn’t about never struggling. It’s about continuing to show up and push forward—even when things feel hard.

Mentally tough athletes…
    •    Stay focused and resilient during challenges.
    •    Bounce back after failure or mistakes.
    •    Perform under pressure.
    •    Maintain confidence even when things aren’t going perfectly.

Parent Tip: Normalize mistakes. Let your athlete know that struggling doesn’t mean they’re failing—it means they’re growing.


2. Help Them Build Resilience (Not Perfection)
Every athlete faces setbacks. What matters is how they respond. That’s where resilience comes in.

Tools for Building Resilience:
    •    “Will It Matter?”: Help your athlete reframe the situation. Will this still feel huge tomorrow? Next week? A year from now?
    •    Mantras: Use short, powerful statements that help your athlete stay grounded and focused. These are especially helpful after mistakes or in moments of pressure, when negative self-talk can take over. Examples include:
    •    “Mistakes mean I’m growing.”
    •    “Pressure is a privilege.”
    •    “I’ve done hard things before—I can do them again.”
These mantras create a mental reset that helps athletes let go of the past play and refocus on what they can do next.

Parent Tip: When your athlete is upset after a game, try leading with curiosity:
“What did you learn today?” or “What would you do differently next time?”


3. Focus on Confidence—Especially Under Pressure
Athletes often think confidence comes from outcomes (like wins or stats), but real, lasting confidence comes from preparation and effort.

Build a Confidence Reservoir:
Have your athlete list 5–7 moments they are proud of—especially ones that reflect effort or resilience. These can serve as proof during tough moments that they’ve overcome challenges before—and they can do it again.

Parent Tip: Help shift their mindset from “I have to be perfect” to “This is a chance to grow.”


4. Encourage Mental Toughness in Daily Life
Mental toughness isn’t just for the big game—it’s built in small, daily moments.
Finishing a tough workout. Powering through a long homework night. Choosing a growth mindset when something doesn’t go their way.

Practicing Daily Mental Toughness Looks Like:
    •    Pushing through even when they’re tired.
    •    Being kind and resilient after a hard conversation.
    •    Staying calm and focused during a frustrating moment.

Parent Tip: Talk about how you handle tough situations in your own life. Model the mindset you want your athlete to develop.


Want to Go Deeper?
We created the Elite Athlete Membership to give athletes practical tools and consistent support around topics like mental toughness, resilience, and confidence. April’s content walks athletes through all four of the strategies mentioned above. Find it HERE.


Final Thought for Parents
You don’t need to be a mental performance coach to help your athlete grow mentally strong. You just need to support their mindset, reinforce the right tools, and remind them that their worth isn’t tied to their performance. You’ve got this—and so do they.